Thursday, May 8, 2014

A Mother's Day Tradition

My mom was never the kind of person who indulged in anything for herself. She was always practical about her money and how it was spent - usually, she would spend it on me and my career - and she used everything she had until it couldn't be used anymore.

Two things that she wore through the quickest were purses and shoes. She would use the same purse everyday that carried her blackberry, her wallet, her iPad, her calendar, and a whole bunch of other stuff that always made it super heavy. And then when she got herself a new purse to replace it, it wouldn't even be anything cute - just practical and plain. Same goes for her shoes. She would wear them for days on end until the liner on the shoe started sticking to her foot instead of the shoe itself and there was obvious wear and tear. So I took it upon myself to help her out with these...issues, and it became tradition that I got her either a purse or shoes for Mother's Day, her birthday, and Christmas.

But wait - there's another tradition. Every gift-giving event, I would give her her present and once she opened it and said she loved it, she would immediately ask me where I got it from, when I got it, and how much it was....and then WHY I got it after knowing how much it cost. Last Mother's Day, I got her a really nice BCBG purse because she had already started wearing out the really cute Coach purse I got her the Mother's Day before THAT. And both times - actually, EVERY time - we would get into this silly argument because I wouldn't tell her anything she wanted to know....and then every time, we would laugh about it afterwards. I mean, who cares where I got it, when I got it, or how much it was. It was always worth it seeing her reaction and her smile, knowing that I made it appear.

This will be my first Mother's Day without my mom, and it really sucks. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I didn't know it would be this hard.

I came up with this idea that I should continue our tradition: get a nice purse or a cute pair of shoes (she preferred boots with a one-inch-or-so heel), starting with Mother's Day. I would get the purse for me, but in honor of her. Besides, the purses would always end up mine in the end anyways because once she got a new purse, she would give me her old one. Lol. So I went to the mall today thinking it would be fun and easy, a mistake I so unknowingly made. There were Mother's Day sales everywhere and I was completely overwhelmed. I tried to shop, but I lost the spirit and I got out of there as soon as I could.

I just wanted to relive those good days, but it's never as easy as it seems. But I still like the idea, so I'll try again this weekend :)

For those of you who do have your moms in your lives, make sure you do something nice for her this Mother's Day. You'll never know when it'll be the last so you should always make it count. The comfort I get in this holiday is that I always tried to make it count....and I know I did because she loved her gifts and used them constantly. I wish I could do it again just to see her smile and then get mad at me and laugh with me one more time.

Moms are amazing. Remind her how amazing she is this weekend even if it's just with flowers and a card :)

(Mother's Day 2012)

(Mother's Day 2013)

Monday, April 21, 2014

My Coachella Experience

I'm tired. I'm sleepy. I'm sore. But most importantly, I'm happy.

I've only been to Coachella one other time in 2012, but this time around was so different and so much more awesome. Not to discount my first time going because that was also an incredible experience. It's just this year I went as a VIP.

The first time I went to Coachella, I went through general admission and I car camped. It was just me and my best friend Mindy, and it was really fun. We made friends on the campgrounds, laid out on the grass field, and partied hard. And I'm really glad that the first time I went, I went through general admission because it gave me the real Coachella experience. I was part of the huge crowds and even got on someone's shoulders on the last night for Avicii. It was a blast!

This year, I wasn't even planning on going. The tickets sold out in minutes and I didn't know anybody who was selling any. But during weekend one of Coachella, my friend Alicia and I had a sleepover and we were talking about how awesome it would be if we were at Coachella.....and next thing you know, we were officially VIPs for the second weekend! It was so spontaneous, it felt unreal. But there we were, Friday morning, driving to Coachella and our experience began!


(That selfie game, tho)

(Found Waldo!)

(Met Kev Jumba from youtube!)

If you ever get a chance to go, you should definitely do general admission your first time. But if you go again, VIP is the way to go. Some benefits:

- Lots of shade
- Extra bathrooms and usually with no lines
- Couches and cabanas!
- Phone charging stations
- Exclusive food vendors
- Ladies, there's a Ladies Lounge where you can get your hair and make-up done for free, sponsored by Sephora
- Exclusive viewing area of the main stage with a great view over everyone else
- A photobooth!
- If you get VIP parking, you get an exclusive parking lot closer to the grounds, which means less walking, as well as less traffic when the night is over


(From the VIP section)

(Just ran into Kellan Lutz, you know)

My favorite act of the weekend had to be Pharrell on the second night. He's such a great entertainer and he's so talented. But it also helped that he brought out a couple guests up on stage:

- Jay-Z
- T.I.
- Nelly
- Pusha T.
- Busta Rhymes
- Jabbawockeez
- Daft Punk

It was definitely the highlight of my Coachella. Some of my other favorites, though, were Calvin Harris, Ellie Goulding, Lorde, Aloe Blacc, and Zedd :)


(Easter fell on 4/20 so I was praisin and she was blazin. Haha)

(The benefits of couches)

Because we decided to go so last minute, the only choices for places to stay were very limited. The only hotels available were 20 miles away from the fair grounds and cost $200 a night and the car camping was sold out. There was only one place to go: Craigslist. Haha. I know, it sounds super sketchy and, yes, I've heard of the Craigslist Killer, but, no, I have not seen it. We really had no other choice. So we found a room being rented out at someone's house for a good deal, and we took it! It wasn't the best place, but we were thankful for a place to stay, especially one with a shower and a bed. Lol. The only thing that matters is that we're back home, safe and sound now. 

It was a weekend I won't forget for a very long time. It was so much fun to escape reality and just go have fun for a while. We partied and raved and jumped and screamed - you know, you would think I would've lost weight with all the walking and the sweating and the jumping, but I think I might have gained weight from all the awesome food. Hahaha. 

Sucked to say goodbye to Coachella, but three days was good enough for me. Got home and went to sleep at around two this morning....and I'm such a good student that I actually went to all my classes today. What a trooper, right? Lol. 

Thank you, Coachella!!!!!

Sunday, March 30, 2014


"Perfection is the disease of the nation" - Beyonce

Every woman wants to be beautiful. But what is "beautiful?"

I open Vogue and all I see is pictures of women who are 5'10" and probably 100 pounds. Or maybe they just look 100 pounds because the girl herself, who could be 120 in reality, was "too fat" so they airbrushed her to look even thinner. And I see the same girl in Elle magazine, except she has different hair and her skin is possibly a little tanner. These are the girls that get chosen to be in these high-end magazines. These are the girls that are qualified to walk the runway for Oscar de la Renta or Michael Kors. These are the girls that are defined as "beautiful."

I'll admit I've had my fair share of self-doubt and body image issues. And it sucks because I shouldn't. I eat fairly healthy and I get my exercise in when I can, but I can't shake that I'm not just a little bit taller and a little bit thinner. But it's the media, the industry, and even people I personally know who convince me that I'm not good enough. I hear things like I'm not tall enough, I'm too tall, I'm not skinny enough, my boobs are too small, I don't have a butt, my hips are too big, and the list goes on. And on top of that, I'm constantly being compared to other Asians because it's widely common for Asian girls to be thin and small and petite, and I'm none of those things. In the process of trying to be what society wants me to be, I lost myself and I never knew what it is that I wanted to be or what would make me happy. These comments have always made me feel inferior and small, but I'm over it.

For the majority of my life, I have let people and their comments get to me and I've allowed myself to let them change me and shape me, literally. But this has gone on for too long. I'm honestly so happy to be where I am now with my body and who I am. Everyone can say whatever they want about me, but I won't allow them to get in my head anymore. I'm not living my life for anyone else by myself and I think I have to realize that first and foremost and really put myself first. I think it's good to be aware of how my body changes and where it's headed, but the only thing I'm going to be striving for is to be healthy. I want to be my own kind of beautiful - not anyone else's.

There are so many girls in this world who let other people define them, and it's not ok. It's important not to be so concerned and obsessed with what you wish you were, but instead be grateful for what you have. And this blog/rant isn't to call models or those girls I mentioned first to not be beautiful. They are beautiful, but they aren't your beautiful. It's hard to not let the media and society get into your head about what you should or shouldn't be and what's hot and what's not, but hopefully every girl will get to this point that I'm at now and change directions in how they think and not let others control the outcome of their lives.

Every woman wants to be beautiful. The thing is every woman is already beautiful.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Strong and Stronger

Tomorrow marks five months.

Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday when my mom would sit in my room on her iPad and I would be sitting next to her on my computer. And sometimes it feels like it was years ago that this happened.

It's so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that she's gone. It hasn't gotten any easier, besides the fact that I distract myself with school and music and friends. But when I'm alone in my room, I'm haunted by the fact that I have to spend the rest of my life without her.

My mom was the one best friend I thought I would have forever; one who would be on my side no matter what and defend me even if I was wrong. Nothing hurts me more and nothing makes me feel more alone than to think about the fact that I no longer have that.

Most people tell me to stay strong and I try by keeping a smile on my face and trying to convince myself everything will be ok...but to my disappointment, it's not as easy to do than it is to say. Everything I do, everything I see, and everywhere I go reminds me of her. We've shared so many memories and yet they will never be enough.

...But when I am weak, I think about the fact that I have been so blessed to be surrounded by such amazing people who have been holding me up and gluing me back together. I am so blessed to have friends who I can call when I'm bawling my eyes out because I walked into a McDonald's and remembered where me and my mom used to sit and eat french fries. I am so blessed to be on the amazing career path that I am on now, thanks to my mom. I am so blessed to have even had a mom, nonetheless, a mom like her...a mom who worked hard for me, supported me, cared about me, and most important of all, loved me like no other.

I am not strong...yet. But I am stronger than I was before.

I love you, mami.

Monday, January 13, 2014


Hello and happy new year!

Sorry I'm a little late. Life has been pretty hectic. If you don't already know, last week was #MeegsWeek to celebrate my birthday! I like to do birthday weeks instead of just a day just because it's more fun :) I am now 19! Ahh! Getting to my 20s - I'm scared. Lol.

Anyways, in case you missed #MeegsWeek, I had something planned every night with either my friends or family, and it was probably the most fun I've had and a great start to 2014.

Day 1:
Got dinner at Guppy House with some of my friends! I told the waiter myself that it was my birthday and that I wanted him to sing for me, but he said they didn't do that :( But he did surprise me with some ice cream and a candle in it!

Day 2:
I had made a decision the night before to make a birthday video so I called up the Radicals and asked them to help me. Unfortunately, it's almost impossible to get 11 girls together at the same time and on such short notice, but Aniyah, Rosie, and Sydney were awesome enough to help me out :) We all met at Venice Beach and just had a blast!

And if you haven't seen the video, make sure you watch it:

Day 3:
Unfortunately, this Monday was the first day of school :( I'm taking a biology 101 crash course everyday for the month of January. Buuuuuuut my teacher is awesome. First thing he said when he came in was not to stress about this class because everyone will get an A. We even have field trips! So far, it's been really fun. That night, I thought I was gonna have an ordinary Girl Radical dance rehearsal, but JC, Jimmy, and Autumn surprised me with cupcakes at the end and sang happy birthday to me! It was awesome :)

Day 4:
My actual birthday! January 7th! Yayyyyyy! That night, I went to one of my favorite places: Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour! I went with my five closest girlfriends and my step-dad :) Granted, we had to wait about an hour for a table, but it was so worth it. Loved that whole night!

Day 5:
No school that day! So I vegged at home all day. Lol. And went out to dinner with my friend Gordy at night :) I've known him since my pageant days, so it was good to see him again. Had KBBQ! Can't beat that.

Day 6:
If you've read my tweets, you know that I've been obsessed with Frozen recently. This night, I went to go see it again with my friend Randy. We've both been obsessed with it and watching the movie the second time only made it worse. We even sang along in the theatre. I'm pretty sure people were mad at us. Lol. And afterwards, we honored the Asian tradition of eating noodles for long life :)

Day 7:
On the seventh day of #MeegsWeek, my true love gave to me, a brand new Aldo purseeeeee.....and a sleepover with all my best frieeeeeenddddssss! Unfortunately, we were having too much fun at the sleepover that we didn't take so many pictures, but I look at that as a good thing.

#MeegsWeek was so much fun and I'm definitely doing another one next year. Maybe even a month....or a year....then everyday would be my bday! Haha. Jk. That's a little too much. This week is a new week and a different kind of #MeegsWeek! I'm taking over the @GirlRadical instagram account for the week so make sure to follow me on there! I'll see you there!


Friday, December 27, 2013

The End of 2013

Merry late Christmas, everybody! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and got lots of presents :) And for those who didn't celebrate Christmas, happy late Wednesday!

This year, my step-dad got me.....SOCKS! Woo! How practical. The sad part is that a family friend of ours beat him to the punch when I opened her present the other night and it was also a pair of socks! I think I'm set on socks for the next two years now, guys. I mean, really. I have 24 new pairs.

But it's all good because he also got me two cute satchels and a cropped hoodie!....ALL those of which I bought myself while shopping for other people's presents with his money. And then I wrapped them so I could have things to open for Christmas. I must say he has fabulous taste ;) And after he got me those presents (aka after I got me those presents), I found the most absolute perfect shirt for him:

I think it fits quite well, don't you? 

We had a great Christmas, my step-dad and I.  I know that Christmas is supposed to be spending time with family, but because this is the first Christmas without my mom, we decided it was too hard to spend it just the two of us. So we went to a couple Christmas parties and ate too much food, which I hope everyone else did so I don't look like the lonely fatty.

I also held a little Christmas party for my family of friends, and we did Secret Santa this year. You know, even though they're all great friends of mine and I've known them for a while, Christmas shopping is still one of the hardest things I have to do throughout the year. But just remember: it's the THOUGHT that counts.

As I reflect back on the year of 2013, it really has been a memorable year, in good ways and in horrible ways. I lost someone I loved so dearly and who was so close to me, but in the process, I made stronger friendships with the people who really care about me and filtered out those who don't. It's been hard, but I'm so grateful for the amazing people in my life who have helped me through this year and who will continue to be there for me. I'd also like to thank my legs for supporting me, my arms for always being by my side, and my fingers and toes because I can always count on them.

And now that Christmas is over, my mission to find a New Year's kiss has officially begun. For the last two years, I haven't been able to celebrate New Years because I've had to sleep early to wake up at three in the morning to be in the Rose Parade. However, this year I will fulfill my resolution of having a New Year's Kiss. IT WILL HAPPEN. I haven't had much luck in the relationship department this year, but I trust that he will come to me and we shall find each other. I'll get back to you on it. For now, happy holidays and I'll see you next year!