"Perfection is the disease of the nation" - Beyonce
Every woman wants to be beautiful. But what is "beautiful?"
I open Vogue and all I see is pictures of women who are 5'10" and probably 100 pounds. Or maybe they just look 100 pounds because the girl herself, who could be 120 in reality, was "too fat" so they airbrushed her to look even thinner. And I see the same girl in Elle magazine, except she has different hair and her skin is possibly a little tanner. These are the girls that get chosen to be in these high-end magazines. These are the girls that are qualified to walk the runway for Oscar de la Renta or Michael Kors. These are the girls that are defined as "beautiful."
I'll admit I've had my fair share of self-doubt and body image issues. And it sucks because I shouldn't. I eat fairly healthy and I get my exercise in when I can, but I can't shake that I'm not just a little bit taller and a little bit thinner. But it's the media, the industry, and even people I personally know who convince me that I'm not good enough. I hear things like I'm not tall enough, I'm too tall, I'm not skinny enough, my boobs are too small, I don't have a butt, my hips are too big, and the list goes on. And on top of that, I'm constantly being compared to other Asians because it's widely common for Asian girls to be thin and small and petite, and I'm none of those things. In the process of trying to be what society wants me to be, I lost myself and I never knew what it is that I wanted to be or what would make me happy. These comments have always made me feel inferior and small, but I'm over it.
For the majority of my life, I have let people and their comments get to me and I've allowed myself to let them change me and shape me, literally. But this has gone on for too long. I'm honestly so happy to be where I am now with my body and who I am. Everyone can say whatever they want about me, but I won't allow them to get in my head anymore. I'm not living my life for anyone else by myself and I think I have to realize that first and foremost and really put myself first. I think it's good to be aware of how my body changes and where it's headed, but the only thing I'm going to be striving for is to be healthy. I want to be my own kind of beautiful - not anyone else's.
There are so many girls in this world who let other people define them, and it's not ok. It's important not to be so concerned and obsessed with what you wish you were, but instead be grateful for what you have. And this blog/rant isn't to call models or those girls I mentioned first to not be beautiful. They are beautiful, but they aren't your beautiful. It's hard to not let the media and society get into your head about what you should or shouldn't be and what's hot and what's not, but hopefully every girl will get to this point that I'm at now and change directions in how they think and not let others control the outcome of their lives.
Every woman wants to be beautiful. The thing is every woman is already beautiful.